Once Bitten, Twice Shy

I woke up at 8AM on the Tuesday after a good nights sleep to prepare me for the mammoth journey ahead of us back over the Atlantic. I had 2 hours to get a bite to eat, scour the strip for some gifts for the 'folks back home', and grab as many packs of Oreo cookies as I could get through US customs. There were also some amazing tasting 'pork rinds' (pork scratchings, english language fans) that could be purchased from the vending machine opposite our room. I preceded to empty the machine with my remaining American change.

Once out on the strip, I crossed the road from our hotel to the souvineer T-Shirt shop, where I wished to purchase a 'Richard Simmons' golf T-shirt that I had seen the previous day. To my horror, the T-shirt shop was shut at 8:30AM. I cursed to myself and then turned to walk to the 7-11 a few shops down. In the opposite direction walked a 30-something year old woman with a mangy little dog that resembled a Jack Russell. Upon walking past the woman, the dog took it upon itself to sink it's teeth into my leg. Despite my obvious shock, I managed to shake the mutt off in what would appear to be a scene from a comedy for anyone who was watching.

"For f*ck's sake, your dog bit me" I yelled; "can you not walk down the f*cking street in safety here? F*cking hell..."

The woman, now petrified, retorted; "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.. you scared him"

I cursed again while turning to continue my journey. While contemplating that this could end up as a case on 'Judge Judy', I was approached by a tramp outside the 7-11.

"Dude, that dog bit you man.....Did it pierce the flesh?"

I rolled up my trouser leg to reveal a bite mark similar to that of a rat. Thank god I had my jeans on or Trampy may have been interviewed on an episode of the Jerry Springer Show entitled:- "Your Dog Tried To Sever My Leg - How Can I Forgive You?"

On to the return journey, and there were three main annoyances with the journey back to the UK:-

• The taxi driver who took us to McCarran International airport managed to drop us off at the wrong terminal, prompting ten minutes of confusion as to why we could only fly to Dubai before a fifteen minute walk in the baking heat to the correct terminal.

• My seat on the plane was directly behind a 30+ stone Texan who was constantly reclining his seat, both crushing my legs and causing the VDU on the back of his seat to buckle and nearly shatter half way through the screening of 'My Super Ex-Girlfriend'. Upon complaining to the stewardess, I was politely informed that he was perfectly within his rights to do this. Luckily, fatty eventually took the hint and eased his seat forward.

• Karl managed to beat my record on 'Bejeweled' one hour into the flight. His constant goading was ignored by me, as I pretended I could not hear him over my in-flight headphones. This actually seemed to anger him more than me.

And so the Vegas adventure was over. I hope to return to Sin City in a couple of years, but this year is all about seeking out a new destination. I have never experienced one of these 18-30 type holidays, so I suppose I need to do that before I hit the big 3-0 and it is too late.

For now though, it is back to regular blogging, and in my next post I will update you as to what has been happening in the last couple of months.