Light Load

There was no doubt as to the highlight of the final Formula 1 race of the season. Martin Brundle's grid walk was an excellent insight into the rituals of the modern F1 driver...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi4NPpDrG2o

Aces Cracked

I have had a drop of form in my poker game for the last week. With one week to go until Vegas, this is a major worry. Through a combination of bad luck and bad judgement, my poker skills are draining away. Twice in the last 24 hours I have had the poker players wet dream of people betting into your pocket rockets (AA).

The first occasion was in a cash game, where my AA was raised with K 10s only for the guy to hit two 10's on the flop.

The second occasion was in a 400 man tourney, where my AA raise was met by an all-in from the big blind. This prompted temporary ecstacy as my chips were shoved gleefully towards the centre of the table. He turned over AKs and you know the rest - he hit a flush on the river.

This annoyed me no end, and a furious 5 minute rant followed as I was more angry than if the guy had just shagged my mum. If I had a cat, he would have been firmly kicked. Thanks to the following tool I was able to work out my percentage chance of winning the above two hands pre flop:-

http://www.propokertools.com/simulator/simulationEditor.jsp

AA v AKs is a 88% favourite! What a bad beat. In the knowledge that I was right royally screwed I have embarked on a Cava drinking session to ease my pain. At least if I down this bottle of cheapo booze it will be an accomplishment. And don't even get me started on the AA v K 10s percentages..... 87% fav! Surely not.....

Blinded by the Light

Regular readers will again note that I have not posted for over a week. This was initially due to temporary blindness, not caused by excessive masturbation, but by an eye infection. I fell asleep after an extensive days drinking at York races, and woke up to a severe stinging pain in my left eye, followed by perfect 20/20 vision. At this point I realised that I had left my contact lenses in overnight. After a day's worth of pain when my eye was open, punctuated only by extreme pain when my eye was shut, I decided to go to the doctor.

The (extremely large breasted) doctor pushed and pulled my eye around for a few minuites, before handing me some cream to put in my eye. Instead of saying 'How the f*ck do I put this in my eye, the natural reflex reaction will make me blink long before I empty this liquid parrafin based cream in it', I said 'Thanks' and was on my way.

That night saw me take more painkillers than T.O. in order to get to sleep. I woke to extreme pain and was off work for 3 days. My sight luckily returned before the Croatia v England match and I was able to watch this fine display in relative comfort.

"Fu*k You, Bee"

Regular readers may have noticed that I haven't posted for a few days now. This is due to the fact I have become accustomed to MSN Messenger for the first time in three years. It all started on Saturday when we went for a night out on the town, and I pulled a blonde student who happened to live in Sheffield.

She mentioned to me that she had Messenger, so I downloaded the latest version to see some of her pictures, as I could have sworn she looked like Abi Titmuss. This was not the booze speaking, but indeed happened to be the case (left, BTW). MSN Messenger is proving to be quite addictive, although there are three things I have noticed:-

1. Initially, chatting to a girl on MSN is a bit freaky. You feel a bit like a peado grooming someone or an internet saddo.

2. There is no way you can simultaniously MSN while playing poker. When you get dealt a pair of tens on the button, the last thing you need is a picture of a bird in her drawers popping up in your face.

3. Chatting a bird up via MSN does have it's advantages. There is no way you would say to a bird on a first date 'What colour knickers you got on', but on MSN it seems to work.

Due to a night out at the Gallery I was an hour late into work today. My brother posted some of Dane Cook's work on his blog the other day, and he is spot on:-

http://youweresleeping.blogspot.com/2006/10/dane-cook.html

"If your at work at 8, it's always like - 7.54. Just enough time to do NOTHING"

Watford First Win Scuppered

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/play_uk.php?id=1667729

At least I had King first scorer and won £25.

When You Were Young

Tomorrow sees the release of the most eagerly awaited album since time began, as The Killers 'Sam's Town' hits the shelves. No doubt this album will provide the soundtrack to many memorable moments over the next few months, much the same as it's predecessor 'Hot Fuss'.

Who can forget St Patricks Day 2005, dancing in The Gallery to the tune of 'Mr Brightside' while wearing large novelty Guinness hats? Or Chris' wedding in November '04, which coincided with the release of the excellent 'Somebody Told Me'? Or May bank holiday '05, watching 'super' Frank win the league with a brace for Chelski, then collecting £100 before dancing the night away to 'Smile Like You Mean It'?. This week sees Freshers Week in York, so if I am not pulling some hot, blonde fresher while listening to 'When You Were Young' on Wednesday night I will be sorely disappointed.
The Betfair curse has been well and truly lifted thanks to a winning first goalscorer bet on Seol in the Reading game. The nippy (no pun intended) Korean winger was priced at a laughable 18/1, and my fiver stake returned £95. Seol definitely enters the LDFAG hall of fame for halting my losing streak in a big way. A few more wins like that this month, and we'll have the Rainman suite in Vegas, baby!